Tuesday, June 20, 2006

This is now OUR baby

okay - there is not one good way of saying anything about adoption without offending people. We went to court and the biological parents told the judge they relinquish all their rights to these NEW parents. They wanted us to take over the parenting job, to make this baby our own. This does NOT take away the fact that another woman made the decision to go through pregnancy, give birth and have to go through the pain of relinquishment. It also does NOT mean she will be forgotten or discarded. She could not parent because of health reasons that will just get worse, she and the biofather made a mature decision and we all got to talk about it together. Using the phrase that is most PC to birthmothers does not change anything, it does not make anything different. The feelings they have about thier own relinqishment and the feelings that the parents who adopted have are going to be the same. I think it's time to think about the child. "tummy mommy" and "forever mommy" is a little easier for a small child to understand than "biological mother" or even "first parent" - how confusing......

I am devoted to making this child happy. I know what it feels like to be adopted and i want her to feel as good about it as i do. I also know how my bio mom feels about it and my best friend (who relinquished a child 20 years ago). I trust those two and if other biomoms are offended i cannot help that. Maybe they need to re-examine their own feelings about it and see that maybe the child's happiness is more important - isn't that why they entrusted the child to someone else?

We are not raising this baby for someone else-she is now ours--the best way to honor the person who gave this child life and entrusted us with her, is to be awesome parents. We pray for her biological parents everyday. I think about her when i take pictures because i will be sending her pictures and letters. But I am her mommy now.....

Monday, June 19, 2006


I can not even imagine my life without her. It's hard to believe i didn't give birth to this child. She is ours in our hearts and so much a part of us. I will never be able to forget about her "tummy mommy", but I am her forever mommy andI am so grateful to have her in our lives. I love when i give her a bottle and she holds my hand. I love when i hold her in the crook of my arm and she reaches up to touch my skin. I love when i out her in bed with me at 3 in the morning and she curls up next to me and takes her binky and falls right to sleep like that's what she wanted all along. Her coos, her sighs, her wimpers, her cries, I love it all. I know why people move to smaller houses and go to one income - i don't want to leave her, i want to see everything she does, be with her all the time. But when do you get anything done???

Saturday, June 10, 2006

The most wonderful day of our lives

Yesterday was bittersweet. We got along so well with the birthparents (she called herself that). We met back at the agency after court and we gave them their gifts - everyone cried and it was a very emotional time. I had been sick for the whole two weeks with butterflies - i know now it was for them. I know it had to be torturous waiting for 2 hours in the hall way to be seen in court....

They were the sort of couple we would have as friends or relatives....each couple felt at ease. She picked us, she said, because I was adopted and because we looked genuinely happy in our pictures. The others were faking smiles and we weren't---that made us feel good and i knew again just how much they love that child. When i first met her I told her I was glad the baby smiled at her at her visit the day before and it made her cry-I also told her I knew why the baby was so pretty...because she is so pretty. I saw pictures of his two little boys - they are SO cute. I'm SO glad we had the opportunity to meet them - we took pictures and I told her I knew how much she loved the baby and we wouldn't let her forget that. J and I both told them we would pray for them every day. We will send pic about 5 times this year and at least two times a year until she is old enough to meet them if she wants to.

I LOVE THIS BABY>>>>>mommyhoood callssssss

Saturday, June 03, 2006

One more week

We get to bring our baby home next week. It is killing me not having her with us, but only having seen her twice I am so in love! T feels it too, an overwhelming desire to protect her, shelter her, hold her---she is ours.

We will meet the bioparents when we get everything settled in court. Tonight my friend and I went to buy gifts. What do you give someone who is giving you the most precious gift a person could give? Here's your scarf, here's your baby? I could never repay the debt I owe for this wonderful little person I love and adore. I bought two matching stuffed animals, both dressed the same and then I bought a necklace with a charm that is engraved with the initials they gave her. I figured she could wear it if she wants. The animal has it on now. We will take pictures with that every time we take them to send to her. That way she will be looking at the same animal as the baby. We bought a watch for the biodad.....had no idea what to get him, so I hope he likes it. Well, maybe we'll get to see her again next week before the final day!!!!! I can't wait!!

Friday, June 02, 2006


Her Name is about Love because we are so much in love with her it hurts. We won't have her with us until June 9th.....but we can't wait. I love that her biological parents love her and visit her. They just don't want to start off this early with a baby. She wants to go to college and he pays child support for two others. They want to do what's best for her. She is loved also at the foster mother's house and has been to their lake house every weekend - not to mention Chucky Cheese, and a number of other restaurants and malls. She's a travelin' baby! She's the cutest thing - beautiful really and my arms feel empty every minute we are apart. I never thought I could love another human being this way. I love my husband but this baby is already a part of us, of me. I held her and it felt just right the way her little body fit in my arms, the way she looked at me and the way she held onto my finger. I know those are just things babies do (I've had plenty of nieces and nephews), but this was different. She belongs to us, she is a part of me just like my heart. I would kill anyone to goes to harm her, I would throw myself in front of a bus so she wouldn't get hit.....I am seriously in love!
Sweetness in a little package, Love in a bundle, She is my joy......