Sunday, December 02, 2007

None are So Blind as Those Who Will Not See
Part 5


"I am who I am because I was adopted"....

Phooey - I say to that. You are who you are because you choose to be that way. I know there are some genetics that are passed on from your DNA. The way you look, how tall you are, your taste buds and smell etc......but much of your personality, many of your mannerisms, a lot of your attitude is passed on by who raises you and your environment.

You can boo hoo all you want and be miserable and blame adoption....but you really have to blame those things on not adoption itself but who adopted you, your relatives, your friends you chose. And much of people's bad attitudes can be turned around. Instead of living in the past....they should look to the future and what they can accomplish. What's done is done and it cannot be reversed. What is the point of dwelling in it, wallowing in it?
Be positive, fight for change but I cannot stand the depressing rhetoric over and over.....give it a rest.

9 comments:

Mich said...

Ok, so I read the top and was confused...I was thinking "I am who I am..." was a positive statement. But you're right--it's more used as a negative than a positive.

BethGo said...

Who are you talking to?

petunia said...

Bethgo, if you are asking me I am speaking to all those adoptees who say they have been "wounded" because of adoption and everything bad they are is because of adoption....

BethGo said...

Are people coming here and saying those things to you? Or are you going to their blogs and reading?

petunia said...

Bethgo,
Yes, People have said it to me in comments in the past and they are still saying it out there on the blogs and forums. The are bitter people who try to hurt others to make themselves feel better. These usually are birthmothers who regret what they did and feel they have been coerced (however, I think some have been talked into the belief they have been coerced and even though they regret their decision they try to blame others) or they are adoptees who have not had a good life and are angry and blaming adoption for who they have become.
Regardless, they are people hurting and I don't want to say that's not real...it's just that they are wrong in their claims about adoption.

Gershom said...

where is this happening at? in blogs and around cyberspace? Are you the cyberspace police? You call them "anti-adoption" people are you saying that all people who don't believe in adoption are "Bad" people and have had "bad" lives and make no justifiable claims in being anti-adoption? Is this your agenda? I need to know before I reply.( which won't be for a few days )

petunia said...

Gershom....have you been out there is blogville? Come on....the people who are "anti-adoption" are radical about it - the reason I am pointing these things out is that these are the LIES that they spread. They are against adoption so everyone should be. I am just laying straight some of the misnomers. If you disagree I'm sorry, but there are TOO many negatives out there when in reality there is MUCH MUCH more posative than negative.

Andie D. said...

I am an adoptee and I am not against adoption. I know quite a few adoptees who have nothing but love and respect for their adoptive families.

That said, please do not discount DNA when it comes to personality. I fought hard to adapt to my adoptive family's personalities (which wasn't altogether bad in the long run), but.... When I met my birthfather's family, it was like the clouds parted and the sun came out. They were like me. I am like them. It was such a RELIEF to know that a huge part of who I am is exactly that - who I am.

petunia said...

Angie, I agree with you whole heartedly. You may be new to reading my blog but I am an adoptee also and am friends with my birth families. The "anti adopters" that I speak of that are adoptees themselves are sometimes even mad at their adopted parents, they wish they would have never gotten "sold into the system" etc. There are actually more adoptees that are okay with being adopted than are against (very small %). Bloggers seem to throw off the statistics because the anti crowd have something to blog about.
I'm a little like my birthfather's family so I know what you mean...but my good character, my sense of humor and my good mannersetc. came from my real family (my Aparents).