Tuesday, August 08, 2006

9 hours a day without her

I don't think I'll be able to stand it now that i have to go back to work. I don't want anyone else to see her do anything first. I saw when she first grabbed something for herself, when she found her feet, started sucking her thumb, when she started babbling and now that she's found she has a tongue - i was there for the first time she did it! I DON'T want someone to say "she xxxx for the first time today after you dropped her off" I will scream....i want it all.....and not to miss that time. Please God let me win the lottery....i'll use it wisely, i promise.

1 comment:

InMyHeart said...

and this is EXACTLY how some birthmothers feel about never being able to see their firstborn. instead of 9 hours a day, it is 24. it is not something some of us can ever get over. i don't think it is something that should be expected to get over. adoption as it is presented to us at the time of birth, did not for me, even come close to how the agency portrayed it. it is not something in the past, it is current. my son is 19, currently. it is that 19 year old i am missing. i am very sorry you don't feel that close of a bond with your birthmother and siblings. i can't begin to comprehend NOT feeling a bond. i want to believe that it is how adoption was portrayed to you growing up. are you going to support your daughters relationship with her birthfamily? i have only read a portion of your blog... so maybe you have already answered this.