Bitter Birthmoms and Adoptees

We only have one life to live. We have very little time and so many people are filling up that time with bitterness and regret. It is a choice they make....it is a mission for some.
There is one blog called "I hate adoption".....an adoptee who was placed with aparents who weren't good. There is another written by a birthmother who is still trying to come to terms with her relinquishment. I'm sure they don;t think about it 24/7 but these women (and many others----LOTS MORE) are affected SO much in their lives by what has happened in the past. YES, we are are past and we are changed by circumbstances but there is a choice made. Why do people who were abused as children marry abusers? That is normal to them, eventhough it's horrible, that's how things feel right. These women have had bad experiences but they live in the middle of it still.
I was adopted and I'm an adopted mom now. I want my baby to feel what I did growing up....loved, secure, happy.
I pray that other adoptees and birthmothers can put aside the past, learn from it but not live in it......