The more i read other adoption blogs the more i worry. This is a complicated process. Not like the old days where the birthmother goes away, swept under the rug - and no one thinks about what she has to go through, who she is etc. She was the carrier of a child that now has a new life with a new family. Everyone gets their feelings hurt now. Everyone has to be really involved and hands on. I don't know - maybe my way was better - no one talked about it - everyone was silent and thought about it in private thoughts no one else could hear. I don't want to think everyday about being adopted. i don't want to talka bout it everyday with my adopted child. I want to live a normal life like everyone else. Why can't that happen?
When i think of all I've been through with this stupid body that won't work properly - i get mad - mad at this flesh taht looks perfectly fine but is defective, mad that i don't get what everyone else gets....my life has to be different - never easy, never uncomplicated. Why?
This blog at the Naked Ovary really spoke what my heart and head have felt all along...... things i've had inside and not told people but finally feel there are other people who have gone through it.

FFA FOREVER!

This was so good - i had to cut and paste.....

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Is this a little ridiculous??

Red Lobster

Scary Lobster

Take The Personality Test Free On-Line
http://www.advisorteam.com/temperament_sorter/register.asp?partid=1

I'm An Idealist!

Idealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. Idealists strive to discover who they are and how they can become their best possible self -- always this quest for self-knowledge and self-improvement drives their imagination. And they want to help others make the journey. Idealists are naturally drawn to working with people, and whether in education or counseling, in social services or personnel work, in journalism or the ministry, they are gifted at helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potentials.
Idealists are sure that friendly cooperation is the best way for people to achieve their goals. Conflict and confrontation upset them because they seem to put up angry barriers between people. Idealists dream of creating harmonious, even caring personal relations, and they have a unique talent for helping people get along with each other and work together for the good of all. Such interpersonal harmony might be a romantic ideal, but then Idealists are incurable romantics who prefer to focus on what might be, rather than what is. The real, practical world is only a starting place for Idealists; they believe that life is filled with possibilities waiting to be realized, rich with meanings calling out to be understood. This idea of a mystical or spiritual dimension to life, the "not visible" or the "not yet" that can only be known through intuition or by a leap of faith, is far more important to Idealists than the world of material things.
Highly ethical in their actions, Idealists hold themselves to a strict standard of personal integrity. They must be true to themselves and to others, and they can be quite hard on themselves when they are dishonest, or when they are false or insincere. More often, however, Idealists are the very soul of kindness. Particularly in their personal relationships, Idealists are without question filled with love and good will. They believe in giving of themselves to help others; they cherish a few warm, sensitive friendships; they strive for a special rapport with their children; and in marriage they wish to find a "soulmate," someone with whom they can bond emotionally and spiritually, sharing their deepest feelings and their complex inner worlds.
Idealists are rare, making up between 20 and 25 percent of the population. But their ability to inspire people with their enthusiasm and their idealism has given them influence far beyond their numbers.

I read this on another blog and i have done this so many times.....He just can write it in such an eloquent way!

"I wonder
I wonder what you wonder.This morning, as I was sitting in my car waiting for my opportunity to deposit money with my bank, I began to think about the guy sitting next to me.Where is he going? What does he do for a living? Does he have any kids? Is he happy? Does he really like his truck?We are the most connected disconnected people. I'm right next to this guy, but I might as well have been a million miles away. I'll probably never see the guy in the rusty red Ford F150 again, but for a moment I remembered that we are all connected. We are connected by the fact that we are both children of God. We are connected by the fact that we're both on the planet on purpose. We are connected by the fact of Christ's love.I wonder if the guy in the rusty red Ford F150 ever wonders about that."

Arkasas plays it both ways!

I think it's funny that the State of Arkansas celebrates today as
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr’s & Robert E. Lee’s Birthday
Third Monday in January
I didn't believe it until i saw it myself......

http://www.arkansas.gov/dfa/personnel_mgmt/opm_policy/section_100.html#2

Okay, so you're fat.......

Why on God's green earth would you display yourself like this even for $$$$$$$$$!!!!!!!

It Takes All Kinds!

This is just WEIRD!!!!
A vampire that thinks he'll be running for Governer then President........
http://www.jonathonforgovernor.us/Home_page.html

Some of my favorites:

For years i have had a computer monitor in my office and everytime i hear a saying i really like i type it out, print it out and tape it to my monitor. Well, i hope to be getting a flat screen soon so i don't want any of my favorite saying to be lost. They are more for me - but if you enjoy them - that's great......These are some of my favorites.....

"We do so we be" - Plato
"We be so we do" - Socrates
"Do be do be do" - Sinatra

In just two days tomorrow will be yesterday.

Clever people don't want to know the future,
they make it.

I like pigs
Dogs look up to us
Cats look down on us
Pigs treat us as equals.
-Winston Churchill

Fat people are hard to Kidnap.

When I was young I used to go "skinny dipping"
now I "chunky dunk".

It is not how old you are
but how you are old.

Like a candle in a sacred place
So is the beauty of an aged face

Whether you think you can or you can't
you're right.
-Henry Ford

Try to learn something about everything
and everything about something
-T.H. Huxley

True friendship is like sound health;
The value of it is not appreciated it until it is lost.
-Charles Caleb Colten

Work for the Lord. The work is hard,
the hours are long, and the pay is low
but the retirement benefits are out of this world!

My goal in life is to be the person my dog thinks I am! (my favorite)

If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day
so i never have to live without you.
-Winnie the Pooh

Work like you don't need the money,
Dance like no one is watching
and love like you've never been hurt.
-Mark Twain

You don't stop laughing when you get old
You get old when you stop laughing

When you were born you were crying
and everyone around you as smiling.
Live your life so when you die
you are the one smiling
and those around you are crying.

If you share your joys you multipy them,
If you share your sorrows you divide them.

Don't drink and park,
accidents cause people.

Some days you're the dog,
some days you're the hydrant.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet
enough trials to make you strong
Enough sorrow to keep you human
and enough hope to make you happy

It's a small world,
you've got to use your elbows a lot

Ginger Rogers was asked who was better - he or Fred Astair....he comment:
Well I did everything Fred did but backwards and in high heels!

THE 100 MOST ANNOYING THINGS OF 2005

I don't agree with all of these but i think they are interesting what other people find annoying....I'm not this bad (i hope)

CLICK HERE TO COMMENCE THE ANNOYINGNESS!

My friend K reminds me of all the things i hate. Can i really hate that much???? I wonder about myself when i see these lists. Are there more things i hate and haven't listed?------------------- OF COURSE! I just wonder if i'm spoiled or a bad person because of my feelings for these things? I don't hate people really - it's just their behaviors like drunkiness, homeosexuality, lude behavior, dishonesty, ugliness, immorality.....etc.

More:
I can't believe i didn't think about this sooner
I HATE CIGARETTE SMOKE!!!!!
Casinos
handling money (not the actual spending), It's so dirty
dirty socks & underwear - mine or anyone elses
people filing their nails in ear shot
people picking their nose
people picking their toenails
People talking at movies
People sticking Q-tips or anything in their ears...
People slurping their beverage
People putting htie makup on while driving
People driving like a loon while on their phone (sensible phone-talker drivers ok)
Hershey's messing with their chocolate (like adding fruit - eww)
Sleazy comedians
bad/cheesy/ unfunny comedians
Jugglers
mimes (close to #1)
clowns with frowns (oxi moron)
club soda
thong underwear
squid
raw seafood
tonic water
Medota Springs
front latch bras
any color bra but black, white and beige
leopard print anything
phone books
drumming fingers
bouncing legs
sports bras
chai
greek salad
Budda statues
exchanging clothes with a bunch of skinny people

I Interupt This Hatefest.......................

THIS IS SO EXCITING!!!!!!

Smoke free europe

Update Winter 2005: These countries have banned smoking in the workplace, including restaurants and bars: Ireland, Italy, Malta, Norway, Sweden. There are some restrictions in France. Scotland's ban takes effect March 2006. [Corrections, updates welcome]

I can't help myself - i hate so much!

itchy sweaters
a car flag displaying loyalty to a sports team
poorly-made shoes
anything made of gold lamé
crap from Walmart
stinky cheese
taxes
tax season
disability
stuffed pigs, cows, ducks, anything stuffed that's not a bear or dog
fatty meat
gravy- if vegetables are also served
cranberry sauce from a can - eeeewwww - the sound alone!

More and More things i hate....

Jello (what's the point?)
wafer cookies
circus peanuts
camels
paper towels that smell
old people farts (the flaping sound)
crepes
dingy socks
sweater balls
Kelly Ripa
dog planet
sore throats
fish scales and teeth
cellulite
sore gums
hangnails
body piercings
tatoos
bills
phones (on both lists)
stress
wrinkles on my face (and feet)

My mind is blank today. I have nothing to think about, i don't hate anything, i don't like anything. I am numb.....wonder what that's all about? I don't even feel like eating anything, i think food would taste like nothing right now. I am a blank emotionless slate. Weird!

I was going to try to write things i like but all i can think about are more things i hate....maybe I'll think about things i like when i have all this out of my system....

MORE THINGS I HATE

Speedbumps
pens with caps
clutter (this will be on both lists)
snoring
little boys with earrings
old men with earrings
old men with long hair
bad toupees
men wearing flip flops
men with their underwear hanging out
men's thong underwear
moles
nostril hair
Any body hair
ugly animals
procrastination
laziness (this will be on both lists)
bi-level haircuts (MULLETS)
fake fingernails
gas pains
hangnails
papercuts
golf pants
beer
industrial carpet
dentists
candy that is not sour enough , sweet enough or chewy enough
wax paper
fish (except tuna)
fish smells (even tuna)
bossy cows (you know who you are - not you K)
newsprint
comb overs
tight socks
tight underwear
tight pantyhose
pantyhose
rosaries
other people's dog smells
scuff marks
cleaning products (these will be on both lists)
public toilets
the word toilet
worn paper money
fast food (this will be on both lists)
bingo
heavy breathers
sugarless tea
drainage
grandfather clocks that chime
belly buttons
sore muscles (one reason not to exercise)
magazines
selfish people
paper thingys off a torn out page of notebook paper
snow (also on both lists)
smelly socks
messy hair
hair in my food (even my own)
public bathroom floors (never look closely)
mold
wet towels that have dried crunchy
cracks
body odor
most bodily fluids (did i list that before? I mean it)
dry flaky skin
really chapped lips on someone else-like they have been lost at sea for weeks
nicked legs (on others, i don't use a razor)
movie knock-offs and re-makes----yuck
computer gliches-or whenever it doesn't work right
cold sheets in winter
warm sheets in summer
wet clothes
droopy earlobes
toenails
age spots (on me)
saggy breasts (on everyone - especially me)
soccer (don't tell T)
foreign body odor (it is different)
junk mail (goes on both lists)
bird poop

there's more - i'll just have to continue another day - these are just off the top of my head.....