Thursday, November 09, 2006

We're getting a letter

I hestitate to write this....except that this is totally annoymous. My Agency e-mailed and said my sweety's biomom came in to drop off a letter and some pictures. The social worker was softening what I would feel when we read the letter. She wrote she regrets placing the baby but knows it's the best thing for her. I don't think it would have bothered me as much as they think. I don't think she would be normal if she didn't feel regret. What kind of a person would she be? She told the lady that she is having a hard time and it's bittersweet to recieve pictures.

I grieve for her even though she said she knows what she did was right. I look at our peanut and think how I would feel giving her up.....it would kill me. The agency asks that we pray for her and love our doll as much as we can and that's all we can do for her. The agency is trying to provide counciling but she has refused. I hope she gets the help she needs...

Please don't hit me with a bunch of stuff about this....it already hurts too much.

3 comments:

kim.kim said...

That's a really tough situation to be in. I feel for her as do you too. The worst thing you could do is hide away and shut her out. Why doesn't she have visits with her child? Maybe you can open the adoption up a bit more, no contact must be killing her.

I am not saying anything to make you feel worse I think you are already upset right?

petunia said...

Thank you Kim, I am not really upset for me but for her. She will never be able to forget but I hope it gets easier. I hurt that we are so happy and she is so sad. I hurt because she won't have the most beautiful sweet little girl we have.

kim.kim said...

It won't get easier, it will get harder. I suggest you open the adoption up and let her have some contact with her child. The way adoptions are done are all wrong, the mothers are rushed into making permanent decisions that cannot be changed.
Saying you hurt because you are so happy to have her child is one thing but making the situation less painful for her is another.

I also don't understand why contact is made through an agency, doesn't she know where you are? That's kind of wrong too, she should know where her child is.

She's not dangerous to you or her child. I think she doesn't want to take her away from you, she feels that it's better for her daughter to be with you, that's the feeling I get.

Does this sound ok? I am on your side with this, not taking sides I mean. There are not sides, just two mothers who both love their daughter.