Sunday, January 07, 2007

Call me Nancy Drew

For years I would take the bits of information i had from my "non-identifying" information and search for my biomom. Before computers this was NOT an easy task. I was nineteen and I was niave about what people would/could and would/could not tell me. I think the first thing I did was go to the hospital that was on my ammended birth certificate. I asked them for my file from my birthdate. They were gone in the back a long time and then came out to tell me there had been a fire and all the records had burned up. (is this the answer they tell them to give all of us when we come in? I've heard this numerous times from other people in different cities). Then I called the doctor that was on the birth certificate. He was old but still in practice. The cute little lady recepionist was sweet and after I told her what my mission she changed and told me the files were too old and had already been destroyed. Then I called the maternity home that was in our city...of course they couldn't give me any information but I thought I would try. I called the newspaper and they told me all babies born in the sixties had to be listed in the paper within two weeks of birth. I went to the main branch library in our city and looked through the microfish but my name wasn't there - then after going home and thinking about it - I realized it wouldn't be under my name now - it would be whatever name my biomom or the hospital gave me. I went back and began writing down every name in that fourteen day period - there were SO many. I didn't write down boys names and the ones that sounded foreign or "ethnic". But that was still ALOT of names (I live in a big city). I still have all of those somewhere. It didn't help. I called or went to the churches in which the biodad was a member to see if they had a roster from that year. There were so many other feeble/misguided attempts at the search. When the internet began to get popular I would register on any adoption registry that came out.( At the beginning there were only two). This was all in a ten year span.
When, through an investigator, I finally had a name I could not stop the search. I had grown to love the search, like a game with no ending. I didn't want it to end. I had a name and went back to the library to look at the census...to follow the families - could this one be it? could this one? I made a list of five and followed them, where they moved, who lived in the house - they were great books telling what the father did and the ages of the people in the house - great....but I hit dead ends....still I loved the game.
When I finally found my biomom I kept looking for something to search....what more could I find out? I didn't want it to end.....weird I know. It was a let down in a way. I found her, the searching was over.......I missed it.....did I want the search more than the reunion?
When she told me who the biodad was I began my search again...I went to his high school and got his picture out of the old yearbook...looked up alumni info and found out his address, number , how many kids he had, his business. Before I contacted him she told me it could be someone else and I began my search for him. I called him all the way across the country and he assured me it wasn't him. She told me then there could have been another - she was so embarrased. I went to HIS old highschool and got a picture - it COULD NOT have been him - i didn't look like her and I sure in heck didn't look like that hairy ape. So, I kept searching and finding out little things.....I love the search.
They called me Nancy Drew - I can find out so much with just a little info...I love it.
For a while my searching was done - I missed it. Now I know J's biomom and biodad's names I find myself searching again....to know more. I found some things I can't share but I'm doing it again.....please someone give me someone or something to look for.........!!!!!!!! Nancy needs a fix!!!

4 comments:

LeRoy Dissing said...

Have you tried the State Department of Health & Family Services where you live? Sometimes they aid in adoption searches.

petunia said...

Sorry leroy, I found my bios....I was trying to say that it was almost a let down to find them because I liked the search so much. Now I look for more things/people to search for.

Mom2One said...

Ever thought about becoming a reference librarian? (I'm a librarian) Or a research associate? Or a private investigator??? ;)

(I came across your blog via another)

~ Judy AKA Mom2One

LeRoy Dissing said...

I haven't read through your blog yet petunia but I will when I get time. I am curious as to how your reunion went and what kind of relationship, if any, you have with them today.

I do agree with you though that searching and reaching out to more people is enjoyable!