Princess Petunia

I used to Love my Birthday. I told people weeks before that my birthday was coming up because I wanted everyone to know. My parents always treated me even more special on my birthday....I was #1 and could pick what I wanted to do, wear and eat. My mom made cupcakes for my whole class.....Even now my mom and dad take me out (usually on the day of) wherever I choose to go. Then, when we have a birthday party, on the Sunday before or after, my mom asks what i would like to eat---including dessert. We have the ME MEAL....My brother has even made me Creme Brule for my dessert, instead of cake, when i asked for it.

But the last few years my birthday has hit me hard. I'm not getting any younger. I'll be celebrating my 9th anniversary of my 29th birthday this year and it's a little disheartening. I was okay with not having children by thirty but forty would send me over the edge i think.

I signed up for a make-over contest and I had to send an essay about why we needed a makeover - this is what i sent:

Why We Need a Change

My husband and I have been married for fifteen years. We are the best of friends and have filled our lives with family, friends, trips and church activities. What most people don’t know about us is that we have been through over twelve years of infertility. While most of our friends were seeing the OB/GYN, we were seeing fertility specialists. While they were having children we were having treatments. While they were talking about their toddlers we were talking about our next trip or our jobs, trying to avoid the subject. They all made innocent comments about us not being tied down with children but it hurt; we wanted a house-full. But now we are adopting. We have completed our picture profile and all the paperwork and now we are just waiting to be chosen. We both need a break and a change to our lives before this much anticipated lifestyle transition that will come with a new baby. I am 38 and my husband is 42, making us older parents. We know we will be the best parents we can be but are a little anxious about being “hip” and young. I know there are many people out there who are in the same situation we are and I hope we can bring encouragement to them by showing there are people out there who are building families through adoption who are older and look and feel great. Please consider helping us!

I hope we win but I know we won't. We're not good for a magazine about families. They want to make-over the kids and show their bright shiney faces. Not a hopeless, pathetic, aging couple waiting for a child to come into their lives. Who cares right?