Thursday, June 14, 2007

"Not Anti-Adoption"

Just read an annoying blog and had to comment here on my own. This woman is obviously a hurting bio mother....so I do take that into consideration. But she begins by saying she is NOT anti-adoption but ends with saying all domestic adoptions are wrong except out of the Foster care system - HUH? So it's better that all the kids that cannot be taken care of go into foster care and live a few years there first? rather than having a loving good home to begin their lives? Then who is this about? YOU? Because it's not surely about the kids at this point.

I wish all bio moms could see the future and decide what's best that way. Just because they feel the need (for whatever reason it is) to place their child and then get it all together in a year it seems like then they come out saying they were coerced.

People who have infertility don't adopt to cure it....they adopt in spite of it. Where would these kids go otherwise? We're not ripping them from people's arms.... I don't want any kids to be in foster care - adopted parents adopting kids at any age are keeping them out or getting them out.

18 comments:

scrappy said...

You’re kidding?

Just a question, if you are that concerned with kids in the foster care system, where did you adopt from?

A lot of women who find themselves pregnant might be in crisis and aren’t thinking to clearly. Don’t assume there are a lot of hands out there reaching out to them to tell them that they can actually parent.

Just the opposite. A lot of women can actually parent their OWN children, but are talked into placing by adoption agencies because they make it look so easy. After all, that’s where their money comes from.

I don’t think you have any idea on what you are talking about. As for kids in the foster care system, maybe you can explain to me why parents don’t adopt a child that is in the system. They wait to be picked by a birthmother, why is that?

How are you going to explain to your child why he was adopted? Are you going to say "because your bmom could not take care of you?" when in fact you really don’t know that. So you will be lying to your child. Because maybe the birth mom could take care of her baby. If you adopted from the foster care system, then you can honestly tell the child that the birth mom couldn’t take of them.

Your blog is one of those ignorant and uninformed things I have read out here. I understand it's your "feelings" but to a lot of us readers of blogs, you really sound ignorant.

petunia said...

Scrappy - you have fooled eveyone over at Adoption Oasis in thinking you are a nice person.

You have NO IDEA about my own adoption or my daughters - it just so happens her biomom has a chronic illness and can't take care of her. Before you go shooting off at the mouth with little to no intelligence, you need to know a little more about the situation.

And as far as Foster care goes - I'm part of the foster care coalition in my city and have many friends sho have more than 3 or 4 kids that they have fostered and then adopted.

Lastly - there are a lot of women (the one's I am adressing - since you jump in and think you know it all) that have given their children up willingly and was NOT coerced, but changed their minds years after and are now very anti adoption. In a perfect world we would have no adoption but we do - and people like us step up and adopt these kids before they go into the system or after. I know this isn't a perfect world too because there are people like you who try to squash people's beliefs and put people down...shame on you.
This is MY blog - you don't want to read - don't.

scrappy said...

Thank you petunia, you have just proved my point.

You dont know this woman at all, but by reading her blog, and you made all this conclusions about her. You made her seem like she was a woman who did not move beyond her placement. You even basically stated that she lied, because she states she is anti-adoption when she said she isnt.

it didnt feel too good to read my post did it? i came to all these conclusions about you. Kinda unsettling isnt it?

my post was harsh, so i aplogise petunia. I will not be reading your blog anymore because you are correct, it does make me angry.

"you have fooled eveyone over at Adoption Oasis in thinking you are a nice person."

huh? and you know me how? as for as adoption oasis, it has nothing to do with what you posted about this birthmom.

yea, im fooling everyone. how come you dont post this post on a forum with other people? lets see the responces you get.

as for adoption oasis, i dont think they would be all that surprised if they read this blog and see what i wrote here. I have known some of those people for years.....so i dont think im fooling anyone.

This is your blog, not a forum. YOu left it open for the public to see. I would never say this on an open forum, ive learned from that, but the truth is when i saw your post about single parents and gay/lesbian parents as being not normal, I found that extremely offensive to so many people.

Plus to say that that gay men molest children more then others was just ridicoulous,....so its hard to sit and read such ignorant statements. I wish i could come up with another word then ignorant, but i cant.

I did not say it publically on a forum what i really felt, but i will say it here as you leave it open for the public.

as me fooling people, you dont even know me to even suggest that. Just like i wouldnt say your fooling people in thinking you are not prejudice. But you are, due to your views on people that are not like you.

"I know this isn't a perfect world too because there are people like you who try to squash people's beliefs and put people down...shame on you."

huh? i believe all i did was respond to your comments. go back and read if you want, you are the one who made those comments first and i respectfully disagreed with you on pretty much everything you said.

so shame on you for posting what you did about members of that forum. to me, shame on you.

if you were so God loving as you claim, you wouldnt be out here knocking and judging people all over the place. Go talk to your priest and ask him about how he feels what it is you are doing.

as for your blog, this has to do with what you wrote down, and me as a reader is responding to.

oh, as the post before this one, i know that post was about me and if you werent so passive agressive about it, i might not of commented on anything.

to insuate that i am not a good christian because of my beliefs is just wrong. again, more judgments....

so go please talk to whomever you need to talk to about all of your judgements on people. It really is very unchristian like.

I love it how people claim they are christians, and if anyone doesnt have the same viewpoint or same belief, then are all sinners and not real christians.

petunia said...

Hello Scrappy - Don't you read? I said I didn't read her blog - this post has nothing to do with her - I have no idea what you are going on and on about. You are the smae Scrappy that's on Adoption Oasis...and people e-mailed me tell me you were actually a nice person - ha.

As far as being a Christian is concerned I don't have to Judge people- you show fruit and that's how you know - you are all bitterness and meaness so I know what your brand of christianity is what it is. People can claim to be chritian all they like...

Tishslp said...

Hey guys:

okay, I wasn't going to comment on this post because the comments, as they are, are just too depressing. Disturbing, even, for the deterioration of communication that they represent.

Scrappy, you're great and I always like to read your posts. I know you are supportive of the GLBT community and that it bugs you (probably to no end) when people say homosexuality is a sin. And, P, when people tell you you have no idea what you're talking about even though you have plenty of experience with adoption/foster care, it probably bugs the daylights out of you, too.

Okay, so now everybody's gotten a chance to take the gloves off and swing punches at each other. Each left the other bleeding. Each can say "I won". Maybe now we can get back to a quieter, more respectful dialogue?

You both are great people with a lot to contribute to adoption, but your valid points are getting lost in the fight. Isn't there enough division within the adoption community as it is?

C'mon guys...you may have more in common (besides passion :) than you think......

reedster said...

Excellent comment, Petunia... it is amazing to me how people like scrappyt are so bothered by society telling her how she should think and feel, only to do the same to you.

Pure hypocrisy.

On the subject of foster kids, check this youtube vid out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2XbpUgXD7A

Tishslp said...

Very cool u tube vid. Those statistics about abuse/neglect are SCARY.....

petunia said...

Manic definition:
"IN BRIEF: adj. - Affected with or marked by frenzy uncontrolled by reason.", or "psychol characteristic of, relating to or suffering from mania."
Mania definition:"Violent derangement of mind; madness; insanity"

petunia said...

read:
Titus 1:9
James 5:19,20
John 12:48
John 7:24

We can judge with righteous judgement and according to the Word - re-read your bible.
the "not anti adoption" , by the way, came from adoptionblogs.com
http://birthfamily-search.adoptionblogs.com
/weblogs/head-for-the-hills-1
I try NOT to read most of the negative, ranting anti-adoption blogs...but I do like to read differences of opinion.

petunia said...

This explains Judging pretty well.

http://www.biblebelievers.com
/jmelton/Judging.html

and by the way, don't EVER say I put down single parents....I have too many friends that are...and they would tell you it's better/easier to bring up children with a mom and dad. But they are doing pretty darn good!!

petunia said...

The idea that God loves everything, so we should love everything, is simply false. It is extremely dangerous because it leads people to think God will ignore sin, so people can continue to sin without suffering eternal consequences. If this is true, everyone will be saved, because God loves everyone. But the truth is that most people will be lost eternally (Matt. 7:13,14).

The idea that God loves everything is fundamentally false because, although God loves all people, He still hates sinful conduct so much that He will punish those who sin and do not repent.

Aislin13 said...

So why not come out and say who you are talking about? It would be better than talking about people behind their backs like a coward. Why not just spit it out and let that person defend herself? Scared? Maybe you are jsut upset becasue you got your own post on the Dalily Doofus

petunia said...

aislin - you need to read the comments before you comment yourself - look a few comments up and you'll see what I said about who and what blog this was in regards to.
You talk about coward? Where's your real blog?

Aislin13 said...

My real blog is on wordpress. Same name. I am transfering if you really must know. I read all your comments. Its hard to figure out much since you delete so many. All I see is you talking about whose blog you are not talking about. How about posting a link to the oh so annoying blog you actually are talking about

petunia said...

Aislin - your funny...In my last comment I said look a few up and you WILL see the link...you really must read.
and I have not published 5 comments ...can't figure anything out huh? If I didn't have to spend most of the time explaining to those who can't understand I could get back to writing nice things about adoption.

petunia said...

please leave a link...for your wordpress page.

Miss said...

You evil soul-sucking hypocrite.

Tell me AGAIN how happy you are??

It's amazing, as many times as I try to pretend you don't exist... somebody comes forward to let me know yet AGAIN what a dark and ugly cancer you are.

Pity the child... pity the child.

(BWAAHHAHA! I love the word verification!! PTLIES... if EVER there was a message from God. Too bad you misinterpret all His other messages.)

Going back about my business once again... continuing to pray for you.

petunia said...

I am proud to be happy! :)
Most adoptees are and I'm sorry for the ones who are not.I wish everyone could be happy but don't blame just adoption.