Friday, June 08, 2007

Pant debt - VENT

Okay, I'm going to be venting in this post - so anyone not wanting to read it - just hit your backspace button and go back to whatever you were doing. I just don't like to leave comments in the anti-adoption blogs, it always looks like bullying - at least what I want to say would be. I've read the same thing on three or four blogs now.

THERE IS NO "I" IN ADOPTION

I could ignore it when the first person wrote it because I know she just has her own philosophies and things she wants to say. But when It starts making it's rounds as some "profound saying", I needed to make my comment about it. I'm sure there are some prosective adopted parents or newly adopted parents who may read it and wonder....."hmmm, no "I" in adoption, that's fantastic - what other words of wisdom can these people impart?", well let me set it straight.

There is an "I" in parenting....but none in parent....so?. There is an "I" in abusive...but none in abuse....so what does that mean? I could say there is no "I" in unhappy adoptee either. It all just is so silly.

There is "OPTION" in adoption....so what does that mean? I could say, it's a sign. I could say - SEE....it IS an option. But I'm not going to make something out of nothing.

Another word there's no "I" in: Therapy

There's a "Me" in treatment....haha. Maybe that means we should all have some?

My point is....don't let anyone tell you that adoption is not a way to make a family. And don't let anyone make you believe it doesn't work. Work through an ethical agency with good credentials and who offers counseling.

Remember, when you re-arrange "adopted parent" you get
"adore pant dept"

7 comments:

melanie said...

What can I say, it was an offhand comment, in a silly conversation. Not at all meant to incite anything but a chuckle.

I'm glad it struck a chord with some, and not at all surprised it didn't with others.

Maybe you should think about not trying so hard Petunia, sometimes good things happen when you let your real voice come through.

MomEtc. said...

I read a few blogs that talked about the "i" in adoption or not in adoption. I think it went ziiiippppp, flying right over my head. All I could figure it meant was that .....oh well forget it, what I was thinking makes no sense. I just don't understand what the intention was. When I read the context of the posts though, they were saying that the adoptee is never considered in the adoption....and sometimes long after the adoption as well. I can see where this would cause HUGE problems.

Blogadict said...

This is a serious question, no sarcasm whatsoever.
If adoptees blogs bother you so much, why do you read them?

Tishslp said...

adore pant dept.....good one P! Yes, I've heard "no I in adoption". I've heard "we're trying to find children for families in need rather than finding families for children in need" and various other pithy sayings that people treat as a mantra.

FWIW, here's my little mantra: follow Christ and His ways and you will have no need to build your values on pithy sayings that may or may not hold true.

JMHO, no one need agree :)

petunia said...

blogadict,

It's good question. Most of the time they don't bother me very much...I really do care about how they feel and try to understand the people from all sides of this. Sometimes it just goes over the top and I read things that make me think or that make me upset. There are some that make me cry and some that make me smile. To be honest, I look around as if I was an adopted parent or a prospective adopted parent and looking for the first time....I try to be a voice on the good side of adoption because it isn't all bad.

petunia said...

Congratulations mometc....I see you now officially have a son. You wrote the prayer of St. Frances on your post.

Tishslp said...

Interesting point of view, P. I'll have to think on that for awhile. Usually, I just avoid the blogs I know are "toxic". If I feel I need the "anti" opinion to give a matter full consideration, I know where to go. Otherwise, being around that much negativity is just not productive for me.

In all sincerity, I've often wondered why blogaddict/others continue to come and post here if your writing bothers them. To me, when I choose to avoid someone's blog, then that negativity ceases to exist...at least until I choose to let it back in for whatever reason....

So, let's put it out there.....why DO people read blogs that bother them or they disagree with?