I've been reading a few blogs by mothers who voluntarily signed to have someone else raise the child they bore. They were talked to, warned, asked, shown the alternatives and they still did it. It is tragic for them, horrible, heartwrenching....I do see that. But, the signature was NOT forced. It was legal, a hundred times they could have said NO....I changed my mind. But now, they are on a crusade.
I, as an adopted mom (but also an adoptee) am offended that now WE are the bad guys because we were there to say....okay, WE will raise this child with all the love that we have. WE will give this child the parents they are being denied. I did NOT pay the biomom of my child, I did NOT force her baby out of her arms. She willingly and knowingly picked us and CHOSE US to raise the child she gave birth to, the child she loved in the womb, the child she loved SO much that she walked into an adoption office (with the father of the child) and said - "We want to put this child up for adoption and we want to pick who she goes to".
YES, the legality of it all sucks, YES the adoption agency gets too much money. They have an office and people working there and bills to pay and legal staff, councilors and social workers to pay....but I STILL think it's too much money. Does THAT have to change? Probably.
But, HOW DARE the bithmothers, biomoms, firstmothers (or whatever is PC at the moment) accuse US - the adopted parents of ANYTHING wrong. We have done nothing but love these children that you claim were "ripped from your arms". You were not concentration camp victims, prisoners or invalids. You may have made a mistake but there is no blame HERE.
Blame the system, blame the lawyers, blame our country, blame society.....but stop blaming us.
For those who say we should abolish Adoption because some people have had really bad experiences- it's like saying we should get rid of prisons because there have been people abused in them and wrongly sentenced or get rid of the military because some of the soldiers have abused their power. Get rid of adoption all together???? that's not going to happen. If people put as much effort into stopping crime, abortion, murders and disease......as they do trying to stop people from adopting.... we would have a better world.
I am an adoptee and an adopted mom and I am proud!!! I am happy and I am proud to be a part of the adoption process!!