Just peeked at a blog of an adoptee I barely read anymore because she is so venomous. I don't even want anyone to know who she is - I don't want any adopted parents to find her blog...it really gives adoptees a bad name. She has had a bad life as an adoptee and she %100 blames adoption. When I did read her blog, she claimed to have great adopted parents and she declared how much she loved them but was SO mad and SO stricken and hurt by adoption. But, if you read back on her past posts you see how her a-parents held adoption over her head all the time. They said things that would have absolutely had a impact on a kid.....I'm sure they were not terrible people, I'm sure they were nice .... but just like many bioparents....they messed with her head. You never want to think the people you love is the reason for our unhappiness.
My husbands father (wonderful man) thought he should not give his son a lot of praise because he didn't want him to get a "big head". Hubby now has a low self esteem and he never thinks things are good enough because his dad pushed him to always do better. He THOUGHT he was being a good parent but it impaired his son psychologically.
Many children have hang-ups and problems because of their parents. It just may be a problem for adoptees....it MAY not be the adoption but the aparents.
Again, I'm talking infant adoptions.