I am a wife, an adoptee and an adopted mom. I am an artist, a singer, an actor, a Christian, a lot of things. But I can only feel THOSE things, BE those things. I can write all I want to about THOSE particular things. I cannot write how birthmoms feel (or should feel), how it feels to be president, hanglide or ride motorcycles.
So, when I say how I feel about being an adoptee and now an adopted mom...no one can tell me I should not feel that way....they haven't walked in my shoes.
And in the same respect, I cannot tell anyone how they SHOULD feel. People will always do what they want and feel the way they want, no one can change them but.... them.
What I try to say, even if it's not done very well (and on very little sleep), is that there are a lot of happy adoptees and there are a lot of good adopted parents....there are even a lot of biomoms out there that are at peace with their decision. That does NOT exclude all of you who are NOT happy. Those of you who have NOT had a good go of it. Those of you who have suffered because of adoption - whether you are on the adoptee side or the biomom side. We all know you are out there...just like there are other people who have had a bad life or have had things happen that are damaging to them.
No one else has walked in your shoes and you have not walked in mine.....