People have a Hard Time Believing
It's difficult for people to believe in a "divine plan", that everything happens for a reason or even that God can use things that are bad and use them for good. After all, most people say "It's God, He could just fix it and not let bad things happen".
I wrote this in a comment to another blogger and, as you can imagine, it was not well received by some other commenters.
"I believe we are all meant to be exactly where we are now. I guess it’s my Christian background that brings me to where I am but I believe that yes, there are people who are meant to carry a child and not raise that child…as hard as it is. There are people who will get cancer, there are people who will live with a child’s death and there are people who will have their own fights to fight. I was definitely meant to be with who I am with and my biomom has made a life for herself in spite of what happened to her…she would have never been in the great place she is now without “giving me up”. I pray that my daughter’s biomom will go to college now and get a good job and stay with the biodad etc…I know there are people that will scoff at the idea of "everything happens for a reason" but it's something that gets people through difficult times. If someone want to look up Corrie ten Boom, she wrote a book about her time in a concentration camp called "the Hiding Place". In it she tells her sister to thank God for the fleas in their beds...when her sister questions that she tells her her that the bible says to be thankful for EVERYTHING, not just some things. The fleas are what kept the gaurds from coming into their bunker....there is a reason for even bad things.
There is a thread (maybe it’s not red, maybe it’s not even a thread) that binds us…I am better for knowing her biomom and my own, we are all connected by something…I believe it’s all a "God thing". I have lived with adoption my whole life so this isn’t a naive, new mom thing.
Consider the amounts of people who have been adopted and the small percentage of the blogs on the internet and you will realize there are most likely more positive stories out there than negative."
Rabbi Simmons has a great explanation about "Why bad things happen to good people". I know people just don't want to accept that God can let people suffer in any way but I guess we won't know all the answers until we can ask Him for ourselves.
5 comments:
This is very thought-provoking, and I remember struggling with this during my days of IF.
If G-d truly was all-powerful and all-knowing, why wouldn't G-d just "fix" my situation. G-d didn't; hence G-d must not be all-powerful. That was my angry reasoning.
Now, I tend to agree that we each are where we choose, on some level, to be.
Maybe nobody would choose infertility, or an unintended pregnancy, or to be raised by people with different biology, or to have cancer, or other experiences we might call "bad."
But maybe the soul would. I'm toying with this idea: the soul incarnates and wants a JUICY experience. It doesn't care if that means "good" or "bad;" in fact the soul doesn't differentiate.
WHY is the grand question. Thanks for addressing it.
I believe we have a benevolent god and I have often wondered why he/she has chosen various paths for us. So, there is the "why, is this happening to me" question that everyone has asked at some point in their lives and I decided that the answer is "why not you".
I think adoptees have a few more questions for God than those raised by their own nparents. The biggest: Why me? Then there are some, if not many, raised by their own nparents who say: "Why them?"
I don't know that that mindset is adoption-centric (is that a word?). I think people who are diagnose w/chronic health issues often say 'why me'.
Gee whiz, even as far back as Job people were saying "why me?".
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