Okay, before you get all upset - there are some wonderful woman out there - i know because one of them is one of my very best friends and I have also read a few blogs that are lovely. These woman have come to terms with the adoption, their past, their decision and as kim kim wrote so eloquently:
"Let me be thankful for what I have and not sad for what happened. Let me see that I have a husband who loves and supports me rather than a family that has discarded me. Let me see all the gifts I have developed rather than the fears that hold me back. Let me see my beauty and intelligence rather that all my shortcomings. And let me see that my daughter is now in my life rather than was gone for all those years. I want to see the light not the darkness. I want to walk with hope and gratitude not with my head down. I am alive and I survived a lot and I will overcome my fears and obstacles, really I will."
What a great attitude to have. Good for you!
But....there are a few scary people out there. Not taking anything away from what they did...they gave up a baby so that child could have a better life-----------but these ladies are ANGRY and BITTER and SO against adoption....REALLY against it. They don't care about anything but how they feel and think everyone should feel that way.
If you search for "adoption" you will find a mixture of pro and con sites and i was amazed at how many there were against adoption. PLEASE----do they hear themselves??? Not everyone had bad experiences. YES, it's always going to be hard to give up your own child. YES, you will think about that child forever. Does that mean you cannot lead a normal life and keep living----NO---there are tens of thousands of people doing it. It's just these few that are SO affected by what happen to them they punish everyone. I feel so bad for them - so hurt and wish they did not have to live with such hurt.
I am paranoid, yes. But with my luck, & with the way God handles things..... He would do it just so I can learn to be sympathetic, so I can be their friend, so I can love them. I DO GOD---I love these woman who unselfishly look at their lives and decide they cannot parent.....that they want more for that child than what they can offer them. I Love that these woman see it as a child who needs care and love and a home not just a ball of flesh that can be discarded. I Love that these woman can care SO MUCH. Maybe that's what's wrong, when everything is okay in their lives they want to turn back the clock. I can't blame them. But everything is for a reason, everything happens for a reason.....everything.
I just want to be a mommy. I just want to love a child and help raise a great kid......is that so wrong?? There is a child that needs us as their parents because someone else cannot do it. WE'RE HERE!
I didn't want to do an international adoption because at some point, later in their lives, i want them to be able to find their bios and get their medical histories, see what they look like, meet their 1/2 siblings, etc.....like I did. I don't want the biomom to hate me for "stealing" her baby. (I have read it out exactly that way).
My own bio is nice, she has realized i don't want much more than an aquaintenship and she respects that - even though she wants much more. I feel sorry for her - she carried me in her for 9 months, held me, fed me and gave me up. I don't remember her, don't know her and don't feel close to her. But she doesn't hate everyone because of that. She is at peace knowing she did the right thing - they both think i've turned out much better than they could have done...... sometimes it's more than just about you....It's about a child's life...... no matter the cost.