Monday, April 02, 2007

My Friend

I have a friend who is a bio mom. She is a Christian and has a great husband and a beautiful daughter who is the BEST kid (they really did a great job with her!). A few years ago she wrote a letter to the agency that helped her with the placement of her son. After making sure it was okay with him and his a-parents, they gave her a phone number and she got to talk with him. They called each other periodically the last few years to talk about their lives. It's not my business to write details about their relationship but I do know she is at peace with the decision she made that many years ago. She thinks of him, of course. She wonderes about his life, I'm sure. But she has been a big influence in my life. I think we have helped each other really....I hope. We have talked about our feelings-- all that adoption does, can do, what it SHOULD be about. Mostly though, she is just my friend. She "gets me", I "get her"....we don't smother each other, we are not needy, we both have a weird sense of humor we don't need to explain.

You have many acquaintances in your life but few good friends.....I'm lucky to have her.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Very true. I realized that after I graduated college and people in the same age group weren't so close and plentiful. I have 2 REALLY good friends other than my husband (& lots of acquaintes) that I KNOW I can count on and they can count on me. I used to think I was a little strange, but now I have come to realize that 2 really wonderful friends is plenty.
Trace

Anonymous said...

Petunia, How can you push your side so strongly when Joy's brother struggles to just survive, and
http://dorygirl.wordpress.com/
has her story as well. Her story of being honest with her reunion so that her children do not have to lie, like your little girl will have to.

petunia said...

I don't know why you think my little girl will have to lie. She will meet her biomom, if she wants to...after she is 18. I don't know anything about Joy's brother, what does his struggle have to do with me?

Anonymous said...

your little girl has to lie about you and your bioparents. don't play dumb. it always scares me when aparents say...IF she wants to...very scary. that's a big IF, IF your lies and brainwashing don't ruin the image of her real parents. joy's brothers struggles are with being adopted. i'd say that has a whole lot to do with you.

Joy said...

While I totally agree with you anon, pls. don't pull my brother into P.s blog

petunia said...

It's all in the way you treat the whole matter of adoption. You don't have a child "prove" themselves or make them feel like they are any different. I was never made to feel that way and my daughter surley won't. So to say that we will ahve her lie is not true. My bios are friends just like we go to many other people's homes to visit them, so we will see them periodically. They know how we feel and she is not related to them. I know why people are so messed up--it's because of people like these commentors who can't just live and love and not freak out about everything.

petunia said...

kim, stop using "anonymous"...i know you are out there.