Wednesday, May 09, 2007

The Blind wants Blindness

One disgruntled adoptee, who has commented here before, went on a "quest" (for lack of a better word) onto an adoption forum with over 400 members to ask how people really feel about there a parents. She wanted answers that would support her theories that most adoptees don't get a long with their a parents and most adoptees feel cheated. She found out she was the minority and almost every adoptee said they were happy and they could not understand how adoptees didn't get along with their a parents. It was interesting that most echoed what I've been saying on this blog all along....most of us are happy and don't have the anger issues.
i was happy she read so many that had a different view than her own, I thought she could now see there are others.

It's almost comical to me that when i looked at her blog today, she listed only a few answers she found that support her own view.

I'm not saying no one else feels the way she does....but is that all she could say after all that reading? LOOK EVERYONE, THEY ALL FEEL THE SAME WAY I DO! Is it total blindness or is it selective blindness?

I don't want everyone to believe the same as me....but I do want people to be reasonable and admit not everyone has suffered from being adopted. Blinders do not have to permanent.


Being Me said...

God bless you Petunia.

And I pray that your eyes be opened to see more clearly and your gentle heart find its wholeness and safety, that you live in peace and grow in understanding and discernment.

I see you have great curiousity and love of self expression. I'm sure they will take you into greater adventures full of opportunities to learn and grow.

Being Me said...

You missed the point of her "quest"! Reading more carefully, you'll find the question you refer to was NOT how people feel about their aparents.

It was how adoptees(as a group) and aparents (another group)get along ONLINE.

Adoptees are generally NOT relating to their own aparents online.

It is your right to take off on your own tangent here of course.

Why? It seems a curious mission of yours.

readerofblogs said...

oh gag me petunia, as if you don't do the same thing on here. you constantly delete those comments that differ from yours and leave only those that are identical to yours. this is a classic case of the pot calling the kettle black. and you continuing to be in denial. you need serious psychotherapy.

LeRoy Dissing said...

Everyone journeys through life and as we may all be on the same path, we are at different points along it. That doesn't make the one ahead or behind us better or worse just at a different place/time. Is it possibe there could be parallel paths that can lead to the same destination?

I am learning a great deal from adoptees, their parents and aparents. It would be great to spend time with each of them over coffee someday...perhaps even over a period of time...just to get to know their similarities (obviously adoption) and how each of them experienced it. Sounds like there is definite variation in viewpoints.

LeRoy Dissing said... me sometime if you will as I'd like to discuss this further. Thanks!

petunia said...

Readerofblogs, I'm pretty sure who you are now but it doesn't matter. I do not delete every comment that doesn't agree with my own point of view. You are not only blind but you are a bit slow - have you been reading the other comments? There are a few boundries I do not like to be crossed. If you were an intelligent person with an ounce of decency I would leave more of your comments for other people to read. You can be mean, nasty and belittling, not only to me but other commenters...those all go.

As far as the other bloggers "quest".... She is constantly on a journey to find others who agree with her. When she found the opposite she was not satisfied and blogged about how she found people who agreed with her...i think that's funny. She totally ignored all the things people said about their a-parents and how they all get along - even how all the people on line get a long. funny.

Sort of like the US media - report only what you want, only what makes your own point.

petunia said...

Being me, I know you know this person well and you have a great relationship. I think that's great. I have nothing against her, you or the problems she has with her own a-parents. In fact, I'm glad she has found you and you get along so well.
I do not dispute people having a bad time of it with adoption...I do disagree that everyone that's adopted feels that way. When i saw the discussion on the forum I was happy because I thought she would see she WAS in the minority (which doesn't take away from what her own experience is/was), that there are other happy adoptees. But I guess she is not ready to admit that.
My goal of this blog is to cotinue to let people know there are people out there with good experiences. It is very disurbing as POP to see all the negative.

sillyone said...

I applude you Petunia, and you attitude. some of these poeple who post nasty stuff on your blog are imature wing nuts. As a fellow adoptee, I have been on some of the forums, and it boggles my mind how mentally unbalanced some people are. One who has been trolling the forums, it was discovered has no ties to adoption whatsoever, and yet thier anti- stance is quite over the top. What these "damaged" adoptees do not understand is that they are giving all of us adoptees a bad name. Has there been problems with adoption in the past, you bet, however the good far outweighs the bad. I just is of the opinion that some of these damaged adoptees would have these mental health problems no matter what. keep up the good work ,and I shall continue to read and enjoy your blog.

joy said...

Wow P. this is so single-white-female of you.

You should change the name again, to stuff I think about Joy.

I suppose I should be flattered, I dunno, I have had stalkers that were both smarter and more interesting before.

petunia said...

Joy, after all, you are the poster child. I have tried not to use your name or list your blogsite...but I guess you are "out-of-the-closet" (so to speak).

joy said...

Petunia, justify your fixation on me however you want, you are still justifying a creepy fixation.

I have publically asked you to stay away from my blog.

Your commentary, your reading comprehension, your m.o. is all suspect to me.

Your need/attempt to censor me, pathologize me, whatevah is the very thing that makes me more committed to speaking out than ever.

Why people think it is their prerogative to prevent adult adoptees from speaking of their own experiences, that this is a worthwhile goal is beyond me.

It is mendacious.

And yeah I piss you off because you are afraid people read me, because you are afraid that some people won't simplify things like you do.

Yeah, I suppose I am hard to read, I am successful, I have good relationships with all my parents, I am honest.

You are right, if maintaining your position that every adoptee that isn't toeing the adoption industry line needs to be shut up.

Than perhaps I do represent that, 400 to 500 hits a day, I guess I do represent that.

And there are more and more and more like me, and we are all real.

And when people read our stories they sound like the stories of real people, not some obscurantist demagoguery.

Julie said...

1) that is not what she asked 2) she did not ask adoptees

Why the need to twist these things so drastically, Petunia? And what do you care what one itty bitty adoptee does anyway?

Your post is almost comical to me. No. Not almost. I wonder if you will ever start writing about your feelings instead of your opinions.