A senior woman came into my office yesterday, looked t my daughter's picture on my desk and, with "that look", said "I can't believe..." -- I stopped her with my own look. I knew what she was going to say...I've heard it before here. She was about to say "I can't believe anyone would give up a child....".
Oh.....this is a big no no with me here and people that work here know it...one gal used to do it until I blew up at her and told her she was ignorant and knew nothing about the whole process.
With this woman yesterday I broke in before her offensive words could burn my ears and I said "you just never know the circumstances", "It's heart wrenching for these women...they love these children". She was flustered and taken back by my interruption and the bluntness of it. But I can't STAND that....it is worse than "she's so lucky to have you" (which she followed up with by the way) and I say, "no, we are blessed that she's our daughter".....period.
I don't mind at all when they say ..."you're so lucky....kids are so great"...or "she's so cute...you must be so proud" Or "you must be so happy"..... those things are appropriate... but why would you say those other things - even if you think it?
On another note.... I was brought up to be polite, I was told it's wrong to hurt other people's feelings and I believe it is. I was the friend of the underdog in school...not because I hated the top guy but because I do see (or try to see) the good in people. As kids there is at least some good in all of us (in those days anyway).
As we get older we get "tainted" in one way or the other. If people know me then they know I am nice to everyone...I never will purposefully hurt someone else's feelings.
I am sorry,Joy, if I offended you ...what i wrote wasn't meant as "I think Joy's parents are awful people"...I just think people are to blame somehow if another does not feel included... that's all. I did not use your name or list your blog. The only people who read my blog are my friends (who don't comment because I have asked them not to--even though it KILLS them to read the crappy comments that some people write) and strangers who must come across it, and some mean anonymous people (you know who you are - and i know who some of you are).
If you (any reader) don't like what I write, don't read this blog. I am blunt, honest and truthful but try not to be mean....sometimes me being "funny" or thoughtful may offend someone but my truth is what offends the most. I am who I am, you can all assume who that is but I know who I am.
I am a Christian (not the "make up your own rules" kind)
I am a mom
I am an artist
I am a singer
I am a Republican
I am a non-smoker
I am a middle-aged woman
I am not thin or fat
I am a person with integrity
I am thick skinned
I am sarcastic
I am an adoptee
I am pro-life, pro-American, pro-values and pro-family(which encompasses many anti things that this society is started to accept very readily)
I am NOT a writer so take that for what it's worth....these are MY thoughts and words... when I "qoute" anything I read and copy and paste... it's because it made me think and i want to talk about it here, on my blog....some of you have insulted me on your blogs - did I throw a hissy?