Thursday, May 03, 2007

I Can't Stand It!!

A senior woman came into my office yesterday, looked t my daughter's picture on my desk and, with "that look", said "I can't believe..." -- I stopped her with my own look. I knew what she was going to say...I've heard it before here. She was about to say "I can't believe anyone would give up a child....".

Oh.....this is a big no no with me here and people that work here know it...one gal used to do it until I blew up at her and told her she was ignorant and knew nothing about the whole process.

With this woman yesterday I broke in before her offensive words could burn my ears and I said "you just never know the circumstances", "It's heart wrenching for these women...they love these children". She was flustered and taken back by my interruption and the bluntness of it. But I can't STAND that....it is worse than "she's so lucky to have you" (which she followed up with by the way) and I say, "no, we are blessed that she's our daughter".....period.

I don't mind at all when they say ..."you're so lucky....kids are so great"...or "she's so cute...you must be so proud" Or "you must be so happy"..... those things are appropriate... but why would you say those other things - even if you think it?
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On another note.... I was brought up to be polite, I was told it's wrong to hurt other people's feelings and I believe it is. I was the friend of the underdog in school...not because I hated the top guy but because I do see (or try to see) the good in people. As kids there is at least some good in all of us (in those days anyway).
As we get older we get "tainted" in one way or the other. If people know me then they know I am nice to everyone...I never will purposefully hurt someone else's feelings.

I am sorry,Joy, if I offended you ...what i wrote wasn't meant as "I think Joy's parents are awful people"...I just think people are to blame somehow if another does not feel included... that's all. I did not use your name or list your blog. The only people who read my blog are my friends (who don't comment because I have asked them not to--even though it KILLS them to read the crappy comments that some people write) and strangers who must come across it, and some mean anonymous people (you know who you are - and i know who some of you are).

If you (any reader) don't like what I write, don't read this blog. I am blunt, honest and truthful but try not to be mean....sometimes me being "funny" or thoughtful may offend someone but my truth is what offends the most. I am who I am, you can all assume who that is but I know who I am.

ME:
I am a Christian (not the "make up your own rules" kind)
I am a mom
I am an artist
I am a singer
I am a Republican
I am a non-smoker
I am a middle-aged woman
I am not thin or fat
I am a person with integrity
I am thick skinned
I am sarcastic
I am an adoptee
I am pro-life, pro-American, pro-values and pro-family(which encompasses many anti things that this society is started to accept very readily)

I am NOT a writer so take that for what it's worth....these are MY thoughts and words... when I "qoute" anything I read and copy and paste... it's because it made me think and i want to talk about it here, on my blog....some of you have insulted me on your blogs - did I throw a hissy?

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

You're not thick skinned.

Mittens and Boots said...

We just couldn't keep quiet any longer. Petunia is the nicest, most loving person we know. Stop picking on her, you meanies!

Mr. Fluffykins said...

Mindy is nice, she scratches my belly and gives me tuna.

Maureen said...

I promise I'll only comment once Petunia.... These people that make derogatory comments are sad and lonely...they sound so bitter and mean. Can't they just live their lives and leave you alone - or at least be happy that you have had a great life. Ladies---if you only knew this gal---she'd give her right arm to help anybody. I can't believe you could all be so mean and heartless. OKya, I won't remark again.

Anonymous said...

Maybe because in her posts she deliberately says things that get peoples hackles up. Based on this post, she should know better. I personally have no problem with anyone saying they cant believe someone would give up a child. Its a complement, get over it. There is clearly someone at fault for this upsetting you. Must be your parents.

LeRoy Dissing said...

Petunia...well said! I enjoy your blog and will comment from time to time when I feel I have something to offer. You have every right to your opinion and to voice them on YOUR blog. The readers don't have to agree or read or comment and they are entitled to that but whatever they comment, I hope they are civil and sensitive.

petunia said...

Thank you Leroy...you are a grown up!
Anonymous 4:09 - I wish I could say the same for you.

Tishslp said...

hey :)

just came across your blog today, so I'm catching up on the reading :)

Good blog! Love reading about your point of view.

Ignore those people who are nasty in their comments. Some of them are bitter and lonely people anyway. Others are trolling and would write something nasty no matter WHAT you have to say about adoption. Those who are interested in open and honest dialogue are not nasty. Period.

Rock on, petunia! You have a great view and, I for one, will be back to read more :)