I think fear is the first reason for people to make up stories and cast aspersions. That's okay, maybe people will learn from the stupid things they say. When there is nothing else they can say, they make something up. It's sad really. It's usually just "one itty bitty adoptee" that does it anyway.
These are all things I could have written myself...I guess others do feel the same as I do.
One poster on the Adoption Oasis forum said:
I have never understood why some adoptees become so angry with, and bitter towards, adoptive parents, on line -- and in real life. It's beyond my comprehension. In instances, where I've seen it occur, I always find myself so saddened and disturbed. I, personally, can't begin to wrap my head around how anyone could be so bitter and angry toward people who are trying their level best to do what's best in the life of a child.
It happens when someone fails to show common courtesy and respect. It happens when one side feels that their side is the only side -- the only way to see things. It happens when people fail to understand that generalizations aren't the way to express feelings and emotions and circumstances. It happens when people don't listen to one another......and only "hear" what they want to "hear" in another's words. It happens when people want to live out the "misery loves company" way of thinking -- they are unhappy and frustrated with their own individual situation, therefore, they want to make others miserable and unhappy right along with them.
It's the attitude that SOME adoptee's have that because they have had problems in their life that our children today will have the same problems. They talk as if what happened to them, happens to all adopted children and they talk as if what they felt, our children will feel.Still another:
but with some of the anti-attutidues out there, and things that i have read, i have to wonder how much is self-hatred....